Thursday, January 12, 2012

"a mom."

I was one of those little girls who would take her doll everywhere... until I was 11.  Yes, my parents were embarrassed.  :)  When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say, "a mom."
Photo via.

I never thought that goal would be so hard to reach, but after three years, infertility has become a reality for us.  I believe that one reason we face challenges in life is so we can help others.  I hope that if you are struggling with this, you'll know you're not alone - you're far from alone.  If you don't struggle with this, I hope I can at least provide some awareness because I can pretty much guarantee you know someone who is, even if you aren't aware of it.

I've been through my fair share of trials, but this one takes the cake.  The emotional roller coaster every month is exhausting.  Every twinge of nausea makes you think you might be pregnant... and then you're late... two weeks late, but not pregnant. You go through doctors, surgeries, failed treatments and more.  Our doctor says we have about a 3% chance of getting pregnant on our own, 8% with IUI, and a really good chance with IVF.  But, I know it doesn't have anything to do with "chance."  I know that the Lord will bless us with the opportunity to become parents someday.

Although this has been extremely difficult I have learned how to be more patient, how to have more empathy, and how to trust in the Lord.  And, I know that when we are able to become parents we will appreciate that opportunity even more.

I hope to do posts periodically to raise awareness about infertility.  Some will give advice on how to help those you know who may have infertility.  Others will share ways I've found to cope and hopefully they can help you as well if you find yourself in a similar situation.

If you have any specific questions, want to talk, or just need someone to listen you can always email me at stephaniecpurcell@gmail.com.  I'm far from perfect in all of this, but I'm always willing to listen.

16 comments:

Landon & Julie said...

I love you, Stephanie! We continue to pray for you guys!

Steve and Nicole said...

Stephanie this was so beautiful worded. You are an amazing example to me. I know we never got to know each other TOO well but when we lived in Glenwood your positivity was contagious and you were so optimistic and happy.

I hope you know how amazing you are {and of course talented, I love the pictures you post}. You are so sweet and kind and I know that you are going to bless and help a lot of others {more probably than you'll ever even know} by being open about this.

Stephie Lynne said...

There is no doubt that you will be a wonderful mother someday and that the blessings of parenthood will be yours. We love you both and are praying for you always!

Stephie Lynne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter & Annie said...

I remember when you would bring your baby doll to church and I was so jealous because my parents would never let me :). Love you girl! And miss you lots!

Liz Johnson said...

This is really beautiful, and I'm so sorry. I'm glad that it's not a silent struggle for you, though, and I'm really glad that you put it out there. And we should really hang out more - I feel like I admire you from afar, which is ridiculous, because you're like three doors down.

Teandra said...

I had no idea you guys have been struggling with this for so many years, i'm sorry. I know so many people in your same situation. We'll keep you guys in our prayers.

Bryan and Sarah said...

I'm so glad you shared this!

Rach said...

I'm glad you posted this, Steph. I feel so blessed to have you as my friend and one of my greatest supports. Thanks for always being willing to talk and for recommending great ideas. Basically, this would be so much harder without you. Love from the Dittos. :-)

Katrina said...

Stephanie. I'm so impressed that you would share something so personal. And I'm sure you sick of hearing of different methods and such...but there's no hurt in suggesting something right? Have you heard of FAM? Fertility awareness method? It's for birth control and for those who want to get pregnant. They have a great book and there is some great stuff about infertility. I have the book and it's really cheap on amazon. It may be good for you to read because I learned so much about my own body, my cycles and pregnancy. Just a strong thought I had that I felt like I should pass along. My email is km.pearson2@gmail.com if you have any other questions. You're great, and thanks again for posting.

The Clingo Family said...

Stephanie,

I am so so sorry to hear that you have been going through this. My heart truly goes out to you and Matt. I will keep you guys in my prayers and I've been thinking about you so much since I first read this post. You are so positive and happy and I really enjoy reading your blog. Know I'm thinking of you!

With much Love,

Jessie

Rachael said...

You are so strong and I Know you Will be a wonderful mom someday! I will pray for you and I wish you the best!

Ryan, Melissa, and Family said...

I'm sorry Steph, I can imagine how hard this has been on you and Matt:( I know that you will both amazing parents some day. I haven't had this trial but I have learned through my other trials that our Heavenly Father knows each one of us individually and EVERY single time I look back at how certain things happened, I am amazed at how he always seems to know better then even I do what is best for me. He loves you, knows you, and WILL bless you with children when it is best for you. If you are like me...the best time is NOW...but I will give you the advice I have to always tell myself...be patient, faithful, prayerful, and trust in him...he will not forget your deepest desire to be a mother. Love you Steph! We are praying for you guys. xxoo

The Martin Family said...

Love you Steph! You are one amazing woman! You and Matt will be blessed one day. I just know it. You know how I feel about being a mom.....I can't imagine this trial. You have a lot of faith.

Kalli said...

I absolutely loved reading this blog post. I admire you for being so open. My sister-in-law wrote a book about dealing with infertility in an LDS culture, and after reading that, I know things NOT to say, but some times it's hard to find the right words. I can't wait to hear more about your journey.

karla said...

Thank you for sharing your testimony through your words, Stephanie. While the struggle with infertility certainly pushes you to your limit of what you feel you can handle, I've come to realize that it also has the ability to push you to become a better person, more kind, more caring, more sensitive, more patient, and more faithful if you'll let it. That's the amazingly wonderful thing about the Atonement - the way it takes the bitter things in our lives and turns them into something sweet. I've felt the love and guidance of the Lord in my life and know He has a plan for me, better than any plan I had for myself, just as I know He has a plan for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. :)